cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
