this just has baby written all over it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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