everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
