We're like a lot better than the average bears
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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