you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
