YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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