kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have aggressive nipples.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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