its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
