So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
