so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude i'm inner monologue high
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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