Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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