he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
