'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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