I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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