She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
