I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
