By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
