2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
