It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
