haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
