Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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