im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
