3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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