He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
