508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
