Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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