he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize