***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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