dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think I just sharted jello shots
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
