If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
