Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
