Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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