yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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