They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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