Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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