Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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