Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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