Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
