just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
