Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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