I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
