he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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