dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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