It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
