I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
