I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
