it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
