Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
