worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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