fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
