So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
