you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
