i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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