I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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