The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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