Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
BRING THE BAGELS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
