don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
