On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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