yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
