Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
