Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.

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(210): View more from Texas

yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

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(917): View more from New York City

No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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(843): View more from South Carolina

i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex

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(231): View more from Michigan

Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.

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(936): View more from Texas

We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯

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(607): View more from New York

my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.

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