I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i think my cat just said my name.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
