at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
