hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
