shes about as inviting as chlamydia
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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