New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
