I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
