4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
